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Kwigut Djinn
For other versions of this character, see Bertie Ahern, Levi Ahern, Gnomee Ahern, Miguel the Ungassable, Salvia Kwigut Djinn was the space wars counterpart of Bertie Ahern, later serving as the host for the latter. He was a high-ranking member of the urban hippie cult known as the Jædus before his execution by firing squad. Appearance Kwigut could only ever be seen in his traditional sandy robes and musty cape. He sported a neckbeard, goatee and a matching 'stache. He had greasy shoulder-length hair and a pair of eyebrows that underwent a fusion whenever he was confused or angry about something. Personality Kwigut's personality was almost identical to Bertie's, even down to the way they treated their respective partners. This can easily be chalked down to Kwigut being possessed by Bertie, leaving his original personality unclear. History Kwigut Djinn was born when a man accidentally impregnated a magic lamp. The lamp was left in the middle of the Arabian desert, where in birthed a fully formed man. That man's name? Balbus Brownman. Balbus drew a picture of a funny little man in the sand and Kwigut was born with powers of Ye Jinn. He fucked around with his genie powers for a few years until he made enough money to move to America in the twenties. Here, he ingeniously thought about New York being bigger. He patented this idea and earned so much money from it that it caused worldwide economic depression. He continued living as a successful tycoon until someone stole his idea of making a movie about people hitting each other with large glowsticks before he could make it to the patent office. Enraged, he downed fifty bottles of sleeping pills in an attempt of suicide and went into a coma for several decades. He woke up in 2018, in time to witness the Apocalypse. Kwigut used his money to build the spaceship Joseph Stalin would stow away on. Kwigut fled to the planet Orange Christmas Delta, allowing Stalin's abuse of unpaid labour as long as he made profit from it. When Alpha Team came for the planet's present mines, Kwigut was the first to fight back against them. It was in January 2020 where he met Bertie for the first time. He cut through him with his lightbulb easily, but a drop of Bertie's blood got on his eyeball, leading him to contract Ahernoids. Over the course of a few weeks, he developed a hate of communists and Delta Team, influencing his defection to Alpha Team. It was during this period he joined a New Age space cult known as the Jædus and met his deputy Obby Kenobi. Kwigut was a prevalent figure in the liberation of the Planet Mega Bloks, as he kidnapped a child from Israel to help win the fight. Unfortunately, his war crimes would be his undoing, as he was executed by a firing squad on the 20th of June, 2020. Abilities He hit people with fluorescent lightbulbs. The joke here is that I am purposefully misnaming a pop cultural icon. He could also move things with his mind, and enter Purple Boy mode. Trivia * Kwigut's two most common uses of his genie powers (building and pushing objects) are references to the character Fix-it Felix from Wreck-it Ralph. His ability to rebuild anything mimics Felix's hammer, which can fix any object. His pushing ability is a shout out to the scene in ''Wreck-it Ralph, ''where Felix kills his wife by pushing her off the 5th floor balcony of their Brooklyn apartment. Category:Characters Category:Protagonists Category:Alpha Team Category:Gnome Category:Space wars Category:Perspective characters Category:Bertie Ahern Category:Deceased